Nirmal Merchant

Navigating my way through the crowd at the 53rd and 5th Ave Subway station, I heard this man say "Never fall in love.. You know you get hurt when you fall.. but you still fall in love.. " and rambled on and on implying that it was only stupid to fall in love.

Now I have heard this man before, infact regularly. Probably a homeless, with a majestic voice.. I wish he would be recording audio books because I could listen to him for hours. With impeccable English.. atleast better than most I come across here, this man goes on to ramble about almost anything under the sun -- Political events, Philosophy, Psychology, Economic events or plain anthropology or religion. One often finds oneself smile or giggle at some of the remarks that are quite politically incorrect.. but on retrospection probably true. Its just that one would not put it the way he does. He thrives on tolerance and the fact that no one would want to engage a verbal debate with him especially when one is in a hurry to get home or to an appointment.

That however, does not stop me from engaging in a counter reply to some of the statements he makes. I often ponder over his thoughts in the subway and sometimes they make their way to my diary or in this case to my blog. "Never fall in love" he said "just because the fact that you fall you get hurt". Now I find it a plain choice of vocabulary when you say "rise in love" instead of "fall in love". No one has ever been able to explain the difference to me. However, to fear the act of falling in love is probably to fear to live at all. Its like never ski becoz you could fall, never drive coz you might have an accident, never fly coz you might crash down. Oh come off it.

Anyone who has ever succeeded has known that mistakes and failures are stepping stones to success. Same is the case with love I guess. I see it as a way I can understand myself better, and also explore my potential to love, to give, to nurture, to receive. Yes it hurts when your heart breaks but often its for your best. What it gives you is probably a fresh start with a deeper understanding of yourself and the meaning of love itself. This time around you will not choose the same reaction, the same methods, the same state of mind. Will the new way lead you to success? I don't know.. but atleast I know that the previous one was not the right way.

Its like learning to roller blade. With every fall you learn something more.. your balance, your posture.. your sensitivity to your body increases. I guess same is the thing about love. I don't mean to say that you should keep on falling in love and breaking your heart again and again. If you forever fall while rollerblading.. its probably not for you. I mean if you have a strain of wisdom in you, you eventually learn.

And guess what.. the experience of falling in love is such a beautiful one. How full of optimism, hope, faith and zest for life does one feel when you are overcome with love. Doesn't the experience make it worth another try?